What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
