I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
True college students do jello shots in the library
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize