yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
