we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize