just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
