I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
