Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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