official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
