So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I am midnight drunk by noon
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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