im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Randomize
