Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Dignity is for republicans.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
