Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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