You really coming over, don't trick.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
