1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
