well I can't set my house on fire every night
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
