I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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