omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize