I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
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