when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
My breasts were aching with rage.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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