found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
