Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
smell my finger.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
