you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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