I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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