This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize