If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
