just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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