I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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