you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
