Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(907): View more from Alaska

she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system

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(248): View more from Michigan

There r osticjed everywhere

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(402): View more from Nebraska

I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?

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(914): View more from New York

Oh god. Standing was a rash decision

(847): View more from Illinois

I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...

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(661): View more from California

Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?

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(815): View more from Illinois

No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie

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