I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
