After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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