You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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