Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
