Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
