The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
