My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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