i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
