ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Drunk is not a location!
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
