dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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