how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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