people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
