I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
