my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
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