She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
