Just mADE A PArabola og urine
honey bunches of taint.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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