thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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