dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
