she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
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