Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
