Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
