Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
