I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize