I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
