I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
