now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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