So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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