Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
