ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize