Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Randomize