a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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