So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
