out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
