Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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