one word: firstdatebathroomanal
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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