final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
