Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Welp...herpes.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
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