How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
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