Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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