What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Randomize
