No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
