Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
