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• (931): View more from Tennessee

  Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.

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• (+33): View more from France

  On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."

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• (727): View more from Florida

  I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.

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• (206): View more from Washington

  I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.

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• (607): View more from New York

  I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila

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• (931): View more from Tennessee

  I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA

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• (204): View more from Manitoba

  Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  no it was

  (519): View more from Ontario

  but you compared your dick to a female disney character

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!

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• (928): View more from Arizona

  I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise

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• (831): View more from California

  if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.

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• (434): View more from Virginia

  So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.

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