how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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