Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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