awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
