Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
